Snowed In

So the snow is finally here. Throughout the past week I have been hearing reports that we are going to be buried with a snow storm. Usually that means a blanket of cold rain. Well this time the weathermen were finally correct. Unfortunately this snowstorm arrived on Saturday morning, the only morning that I am able to play against good competition. This presents quite the conundrum. With the Saturday morning games called off and the gym closed, I am now forced to workout like Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV. Apparently all I need is a barn, several huge boulders, an old wagon and some Russians that I can ditch in the snow, all while Hearts on Fire echoes in the background.

I guess I can take the time now that I am snowed in, to read through the countless “Tall Clothing” catalogs that I receive on a daily basis. I really want to know how the marketing departments for some of these stores envision tall people. For some reason the words “big” and “tall” have become synonymous. I am tall yes, but I am not 400 pounds. I am not interested in wearing an overly baggy shirt with a St. Bernard riding a motorcycle. I have yet to see a person my size rocking a Hawaiian shirt everywhere. Yet these are some of the items that are prominently displayed throughout these catalogs.

I feel like most of these stores are about five years behind the current trends. I try to stay ahead of the curve, but even a style-minded, metro-sexual like myself can’t keep up. My best bets are Gap.com, Banana Republic, Men’s Warehouse, JCPenney and even Casual Male XL on occasion. The remainder of the tall catalogs I receive are immediately put in the recycling can. A local store in Philadelphia that has a great selection of stylish clothing as well as large suits is Torre Big and Tall.

(If any of my readers work for these companies, and would like to advertise on my blog, feel free to inquire. As you can see the advertisers haven’t been knocking down my door…sorry, shameless plug.)

These are some of the names I drop when annoying folks ask me where I buy my jeans. They don’t want or need jeans; they are just intrigued by where I find mine. Another odd question that I am asked from time to time is, “Do your legs hang off the end of your bed?” I feel like asking these people why the f**k it matters to them. Why is everyone so concerned with how I live my life? I feel like walking up to random people and asking what sort of fabric softener they use. To me that makes as much sense as asking me about my sleeping arrangements…And I have a California King bed you nosey bastards.

The question I am asked most, in terms of apparel, is where I find my shoes. This one I understand a little more. Most of the time it is from a concerned parent of a tall high school student I currently teach basketball lessons to. I wear a size 17, and I know how difficult it can be to find shoes. Finding athletic shoes is much easier thanks to companies like Eastbay. I have recommended hundreds of people to their website. However when it comes to finding casual shoes, things get far more complicated.

My mom, bless her heart, has been scouring the globe since my brother and I were young, trying to find dress shoes for us. She has succeeded in finding quite a few stores that now pepper me with catalogs. These stores truly are hit or miss. Case and point, this month’s Friedman’s Catalog. (See picture)

Now I am open to many different styles. I don’t judge people by how they are dressed. But, Wow! I put this on you my readers. If you know of anyone wearing shoes like these, please email me a picture at WaitingForGodunk@gmail.com, because currently, I can not fathom it. I know my shoes are not the most stylish and I know I wear my Timberlands frequently, but come on. In Friedman’s defense, they do have a good amount of normal shoes. I don’t blame the company, just the person who designed the cover.