Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hugging Harold Reynolds

Check out my new blog this week at HHR

Hugging Harold Reynolds: Waiting For Godunk: 'Tis the Season

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Thanks Mom

After my blog about the tall catalogs, my mother sent me an email that read:

All the time I spent trying to buy you & Geoff current clothing & shoes...seems like such a wild goose chase.....and all these years later, the problem still exists. Should have started a real tall men's & women's store, perhaps could have made my nest egg better than teaching. How about every trip to Pittsburgh included a trip to Reyers, and an escorted trip to the stockroom to see all the size 16 & 17 men's shoes in the store. It's where I found Doc Martins.

Thanks Mom!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Hugging Harold Reynolds

Check out the new blog this week on HHR.

Hugging Harold Reynolds: Waiting For Godunk: On Coaching, the Big Dance and Smelly Frenchmen

A special thank you to the members of the 2000-2001 Monmouth University Basketball Team.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Snowed In

So the snow is finally here. Throughout the past week I have been hearing reports that we are going to be buried with a snow storm. Usually that means a blanket of cold rain. Well this time the weathermen were finally correct. Unfortunately this snowstorm arrived on Saturday morning, the only morning that I am able to play against good competition. This presents quite the conundrum. With the Saturday morning games called off and the gym closed, I am now forced to workout like Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV. Apparently all I need is a barn, several huge boulders, an old wagon and some Russians that I can ditch in the snow, all while Hearts on Fire echoes in the background.

I guess I can take the time now that I am snowed in, to read through the countless “Tall Clothing” catalogs that I receive on a daily basis. I really want to know how the marketing departments for some of these stores envision tall people. For some reason the words “big” and “tall” have become synonymous. I am tall yes, but I am not 400 pounds. I am not interested in wearing an overly baggy shirt with a St. Bernard riding a motorcycle. I have yet to see a person my size rocking a Hawaiian shirt everywhere. Yet these are some of the items that are prominently displayed throughout these catalogs.

I feel like most of these stores are about five years behind the current trends. I try to stay ahead of the curve, but even a style-minded, metro-sexual like myself can’t keep up. My best bets are, Banana Republic, Men’s Warehouse, JCPenney and even Casual Male XL on occasion. The remainder of the tall catalogs I receive are immediately put in the recycling can. A local store in Philadelphia that has a great selection of stylish clothing as well as large suits is Torre Big and Tall.

(If any of my readers work for these companies, and would like to advertise on my blog, feel free to inquire. As you can see the advertisers haven’t been knocking down my door…sorry, shameless plug.)

These are some of the names I drop when annoying folks ask me where I buy my jeans. They don’t want or need jeans; they are just intrigued by where I find mine. Another odd question that I am asked from time to time is, “Do your legs hang off the end of your bed?” I feel like asking these people why the f**k it matters to them. Why is everyone so concerned with how I live my life? I feel like walking up to random people and asking what sort of fabric softener they use. To me that makes as much sense as asking me about my sleeping arrangements…And I have a California King bed you nosey bastards.

The question I am asked most, in terms of apparel, is where I find my shoes. This one I understand a little more. Most of the time it is from a concerned parent of a tall high school student I currently teach basketball lessons to. I wear a size 17, and I know how difficult it can be to find shoes. Finding athletic shoes is much easier thanks to companies like Eastbay. I have recommended hundreds of people to their website. However when it comes to finding casual shoes, things get far more complicated.

My mom, bless her heart, has been scouring the globe since my brother and I were young, trying to find dress shoes for us. She has succeeded in finding quite a few stores that now pepper me with catalogs. These stores truly are hit or miss. Case and point, this month’s Friedman’s Catalog. (See picture)

Now I am open to many different styles. I don’t judge people by how they are dressed. But, Wow! I put this on you my readers. If you know of anyone wearing shoes like these, please email me a picture at, because currently, I can not fathom it. I know my shoes are not the most stylish and I know I wear my Timberlands frequently, but come on. In Friedman’s defense, they do have a good amount of normal shoes. I don’t blame the company, just the person who designed the cover.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


After reading my recent blog, my brother Geoff emailed me a list of different responses to handle all the questions we are bothered with everyday. Geoff also deals with the same nonsense. He is the same size as me, and played professional basketball as well.

Here is a small example of how random these situations are. My brother, my friend Josh Asselin..who also is a seven footer, and I were walking through a Walmart in Roanoke, VA where we all played in the D-League. A strange looking man sporting a "trendy" mullet came up to us and asked how tall we were. After giving the normal responses, He proceeded to ask the three of us, and I quote..."Ya'll Twins?"

(He also asked if we were "Dazzlers", which I can only assume meant do we play for the Dazzle.)

So anyway, I thought the email was hilarious and decided to add a few more to the list. So here is the Owens brother's collaboration on how to deal with the question we are asked the most...

Responses to the Question “How tall are you?”

 “About 6 feet…not including my head”

 Answer in obscure units:
o about 4.6 cubits
o I dunno…about 3
o A leap
o 21 hands
o 20 billion angstroms
o 27 Roman minor palms
o 92 pounce
o 1 and a half sticks

 “Tall enough to know you are balding”

 “From my head I am tall enough to reach the ground”

 “I dunno…I stopped counting after I was tall enough to go on the good rides”

 “I am not sure…how bad at conversation are you?”

 “It depends on where you start measuring” (dirty)

 “I am much taller with my pants off” (dirty)

 Waiving my hand on the top of my head, “About this high”

 “I am about 2 feet shorter than the tallest man in the world, thanks for pointing out something else I am not the best at” (spoken very angrily)

 “I may be tall but I still have a lot of growing up to do” (great name for a blog by the way)

 When someone refers to you as “big guy,” respond by referring to them as “medium sized guy.”

 “I don’t know…its not finished yet”

 Ask them to guess…become infuriated at incorrect answers.

Responses to the Phrase “you are tall”

 ….. -it is not a f***ing question so no response is needed.

 Quickly turn around; Yell “Who?!! Where?!!” Cower nervously behind them.

 Smile and stare in the distance, Repeat the phrase “So I am”…laugh menacingly.

 Respond in kind with obvious comment regarding their appearance:
o You are short/fat/stupid/ugly/bald/etc

 “I am! Thank you for telling me!” (excitedly)

 Sound confused…Tell them you were 5’10 when you left the house…With your voice trailing off say “I don’t feel so good…I think I need to go to the hospital”…fall to the ground unconscious.

 Point out something obvious in the setting for example:
o “The sky is blue!”
o “Bananas are yellow!”
o “The earth is round!”

Hugging Harold Reynolds

New post on Hugging Harold Reynolds this week. Check it out.

Hugging Harold Reynolds presents Waiting For Godunk: I'm Tall, I Get It

Monday, December 14, 2009

Thank You's and Updates

So this past week I have received several nibbles, but no bites. I was called by a few teams to see if I had interest, which I did, but nothing ever materialized. It feels nice to know that people still are aware I'm alive.

I also would like to send a thank you to a few friends of mine. My buddy Mike helped with the name of the blog, that has now become my alter ego. We both were discussing how my life is like the Samuel Beckett book, when he suggested the name. Good work Mike.

I also want to thank my buddy Matt Parisi who designed my new logo. It is not officially finished yet, but the rough draft is good enough for me to put up for now. Matt is a graphic designer, so if anyone needs any artistic designs, his ad should be on my page shortly.

Thanks to all.

Also Congrats to my other friend Mike. He was a fellow Waiting for Godunker, who recently landed a job playing overseas.

And finally a confused, nervous and excited hello to Roy Halladay, who is rumored to be close to a deal with my beloved Phillies.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Hugging Harold Reynolds

Check out my new blog this week at

Hugging Harold Reynolds presents Waiting For Godunk: Losing Conrol

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Jimmy V

I just finished watching the famous Jim Valvano speech during Jimmy V. Week on ESPN. I have never been more moved by a speech. Every time I watch it a tear always makes its way across my face. This year the speech spoke to me like never before. The past few months I have been fairly angry. Nothing seems like it is going my way. I have been working extremely hard and have yet to receive any benefits, besides maybe a decent looking body when my shirt is off.

Listening to him, as he spoke about living everyday with a positive attitude, made me realize that attitude really does dictate life. From now on, as I figure out how to succeed in my current situation, it is going to be with a smile on my face. Just like Jimmy said…Don’t give up…Don’t ever give up…Thank you Jimmy, I certainly won’t.

To donate to Jimmy V Foundation go to

Same Article New Website

I was going to post this earlier, but figured it would be gone by the time anyone read it. However it's staying strong. With my luck it will be gone by the time anyone checks it...You can see my article in the Rumors section under Headlines...

Fox Sports Homepage

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Why Not

Apparently I reached some people out there. I am the furthest thing from an egomaniac but I can't help but agree with the one articles use of the term "brilliant". That is usually reserved for my sarcastic wife when I do something stupid around the house. The Yahoo article only has a small blurb, but according to George Costanza it's worth it.


Yahoo: Ball Don't Lie


So you know the expression "Oh what a difference a day makes?" No? me neither...Well I am guessing it does considering I have had my blog mentioned on ESPN. That's right the Global Leaders Baby!! Check out the links to see how far my words have travelled today:

ESPN: The Other Ex-Sixer

Hardwood Paroxysm: A Tale of Reggie Evans Eating Manhood

Now maybe I should get my agent to read this, might help me get a job...hmmmmmmm

Syndication...or Something Like That

Check out my new blog this week on HuggingHaroldReynolds

Hugging Harold Reynolds: Waiting for Godunk: My Tryout with My Hometown 76ers